Was it a victim of the times or changing work mores?
I was the plus-one for the corporate office party in Stamford, Connecticut, the home office, but I don’t remember which company headquarters. Evan and I had been hippies in a Midwestern college together, and then we both worked on the East Coast. I had graduated from multi-patched seldom-washed bell-bottomed jeans to business suits, as had he.
He would appear unannounced at my Manhattan apartment and ask me to watch the buskers at Washington Square Park and go to a long brunch. He enjoyed no-cost avant-garde and the New York metro life we lived.
He was probably on the Asperger’s spectrum — brilliant but eccentric. He was eager for me to be his plus-one to show off that he could get a date while batting above his playing level. He was overt about that. He was a friend who had me laughing.
He introduced me to his boss and other VIPs, and we had a holiday dinner, buffet-style, and too much to drink. I was there with no stakes and only to have a good time. I trust he met his goals.
I worked as a secretary-gatekeeper in a high-profile company’s personnel office (personnel became human resources, which is becoming something else again). I got invitations to employment placement companies’ Christmas buffets and gifts of candy, flowers, and makeup kits. OK, it was stereotypical for a secretary and a long time ago.
I was eager to take advantage of the corporate largesse. I loved working that week between Christmas and New Year’s because there was little work to do. We floated between departments and gossiped with others, answering the occasional phone call.
The little people can take you down
That year I dated a freelance journalist. The corporate Christmas party at the real estate development firm where I worked was full-on too much drinking and hanky-panky behind closed office doors, like in the old television shows.
A senior vice president had a reputation for both a heart attack, and a bad heart, as in affairs with secretaries, so I had no problem letting my journalist friend know when the firm was served with sexual harassment lawsuit papers after the Christmas party. Sexual harassment was a new and spicy legal action in those days. It took another 30+ years for “Me Too.” My small revenge was seeing the headlines in a news story. The lesson I learned and promulgated is not to ignore or abuse the little people. They can take you down.
I also remember a discussion with my boss about the dangers of corporate events — and observing it for myself. Employees who indulged too much or were out of line were remembered. For some reason, it applied more to those on the way up than those who had already achieved their corner office. Poor behavior at company social events was a sure way to lose one’s reputation when it mattered.
Celebrating holidays with 24/7 shifts
Fast forward a few decades and I was a hospital unit manager designated to run the Christmas party with a colleague. I wrote fractured Christmas carols to sing, something like “Dashing through the halls with a one-patient open gurney.” We managers dressed up and served food to the staff. Acting against type — my business-like, everyday demeanor — I tried to create fun and laughter among a hard-bitten, world-weary staff.
As personal family holiday celebrations changed over the years — young adulthood, family and small children, adult children doing their things, then grand parenting — I leaned differently into the holiday celebrations at work.
During my hospital management years, we had 24/7 shifts, so I was there to cover the Christmas party for the day shift going off, and the change of evening and overnight shifts when breaks might come at 7 p.m. and 3 a.m. Whether or not it made any difference, I found it refreshing to be there for everyone’s shift.
I don’t know if it was my change in position at work, the change of times, a different industry, or all of the above, but I missed the untempered parties of the bad ol’ days. Or maybe there were other parties the bosses didn’t get invited to.
Have holiday parties gotten tame?
Managers taking out their staff for a restaurant-served meal, or having a catered event and a tame exchange of white elephant gifts isn’t the same as getting drunk and hiding in private offices. But the consequences aren’t as long-lasting, either.
Now, I enjoy retiree group events, including our annual holiday party. Whether or not we drink depends on medications. We also try not to plan events after dark.
Times change.
Happy holidays.
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