Thanksgiving is my Favorite Holiday

Celebrations have varied by stage of life

My favorite Thanksgiving was the year the international students’ office at the local university asked for volunteer host families. Students would be invited to homes to experience an American Thanksgiving.

I telephoned the office and said I could host two students and was quickly matched with two students from India. The international student office then called me back three times to ask about my hosting an additional three students. My original Thanksgiving plan was for my college-aged son and myself, so our dining table was filled.

I had thirty years of experience making a turkey, and I used the same basic recipe from Joy of Cooking. I covered the turkey with cheesecloth, and basted it frequently, which allowed for beautiful browning and moist white meat.

Some of the students were vegetarian, but Thanksgiving with its plentiful side dishes — green salad, green beans and mushrooms, cranberry sauce, squash, stuffing baked separately, sweet and mashed potatoes — is full of options. A choice of traditional pies was for dessert.

The Chinese student exclaimed when the turkey was brought out to the dining table to be carved “It’s just like on the Tom and Jerry show!” I laughed as he took several pictures which he quickly posted to his social media page for his Chinese family and friends to admire.

What we are thankful for this year

I was humbled when we went around the room to state what we were grateful for this year. It’s part of our family’s tradition instead of starting the Thanksgiving feast with a prayer and seemed most appropriate that year when guests came from varied religious traditions.

One student said that he was the son selected in his large family to study abroad, as he was the most academically oriented of his siblings. His obligation was to return and get a professional job that would contribute to the family. The weight of carrying his family’s expectations was obvious.

We learned about each other’s traditions and then introduced the students to several board games we played. I left the 20-somethings to themselves with dessert and coffee and tea. There was much laughter as they got to know each other and the games.

Thawing the turkey

Our international student Thanksgiving was somewhat like the first Thanksgiving I celebrated on my own, when I invited residents of the small apartment building, mostly single adults, to my apartment for dinner. That was the Thanksgiving I spent the morning defrosting the turkey under running bath water, having just learned the cook can’t take the turkey out of the freezer in the morning.

When I was little, our family, the minister’s family, was often invited to a congregational member’s home. I hated these occasions of having to dress up and behave, and then try food I found questionable. I remember going to the Swenson’s house and being seated on the piano bench at the dinner table with someone else. My father must have sat on that bench enough times, as he remarked in the car about the crack in the bench that pinched your butt throughout dinner.

When we were guests, my father was always asked to say grace and led a long-winded prayer in a sonorous voice. My brothers and I exchanged glances when he used his preacher’s voice, which I hated. It was different from the dad I knew.

Thanksgiving at different life stages

For many years, I was the Thanksgiving family host, and I prepared the turkey and pies and much of the feast. Then my children grew into adults, and traditions changed.

It’s now been seven years since I roasted a turkey. I am in the stage of life where I share the holidays with in-laws, and plans for the holidays revolve around grandchildren. This Thanksgiving we may have a new baby join us, or may not. Or we might spend the day in the hospital, waiting, with Thanksgiving dinner postponed. It will be a memorable Thanksgiving however it turns out, and dinner won’t be the biggest feature.

I like that the rituals have changed and yet they don’t. There were years of traveling crowded airports or highways and years of hosting. There were times of being a grateful guest and sharing Friendsgiving. There were holidays with challenging family members and quiet, or steaming, resentments.

I am past resentments now. I am glad to be a guest and bring my pies. I’ll maybe even play a board game.

Happy Thanksgiving.