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Artificial Stupidity is Calling Me

When the machines take over

Delivery person with food pexels-rodnae productions-7362067

It’s dinner time. I can tell, because my phone starts ringing incessantly. With wrong numbers from Door Dash.

I figured out a month ago that Door Dash had listed my private cell phone number, mistakenly, in a restaurant list.I tried to correct the problem.

I searched for many minutes on the Door Dash website to find a customer service telephone number in teeny tiny print on the bottom of some page. I explained my dilemma to the customer service rep who told me that if I was being harassed I should call the police. The police don’t even respond, here, to property damage. You might get lucky if you are murdered.

I am not a restaurant, and I am not someone ordering from a restaurant, and I am not a delivery driver, so she couldn’t help me.

I completed the web page customer service complaint form. Nada.

One day I answered every wrong number, with area codes from across the country, and explained to harried Door Dash delivery people that they had a wrong number and would they please have somebody in Door Dash remove the number. Nada.

At least I know that if you are traveling across country, you can pick up your account from Door Dash wherever you are. In town for ten hours? Great, deliver for Door Dash. But if you get lost, you have to call the restaurant’s correct number.

I think the restaurant is in California. I tried looking up various combinations that approximate my phone number. Nada.

I have turned my phone off for these hours. I have answered and immediately hung up. I responded to the artificial voice on my voicemail asking me where the restaurant was located and if I wished to cancel my account. I left a voicemail explaining my situation and asking them to Make It Stop. Nada.

I entered a web complaint as a restaurant with restaurant number 123456. I received an automatic reply that my complaint was being taken seriously. I had entered the name of the restaurant as Not A Restaurant. They addressed their reply to Not a Restaurant.

This is not world domination by artificial intelligence. This is Artificial Stupidity. It is not only the future, it is the Present.

Heaven help us all.

Yours sincerely, Not a Restaurant, ID#123456

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  1. SingingFrogPress
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    This is one of my fears about always being online–that this sort of hijacking of my peace of mind can occur because of the automation involved in the digital world. I think I’d be tempted to change my phone number. I’d love it if an actual human contacted you from any of the places you’ve complained and then did what needed to be done to fix the problem. It would help me have faith that humanity will get through the current mess we’re all in.

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