Ten Advantages of Aging — Women’s Edition

OK men let’s hear yours; or women, just add to the list

1. I don’t have to shave my legs anymore. My chin, sometimes.

2. I don’t worry about hangovers, unless I am wearing a belt.

3. My bikini top doesn’t ride up and expose my under boob. I no longer wear bikini tops and have no under boob.

4. If I’m bitchy, I’m just bitchy. No one speculates about what time of the month it is.

5. I have natural platinum highlights.

6. When something hairy rubs up against me at night, it’s the cat.

7. When I want quiet, I take out my hearing aids.

8. I’ve learned to buy blue toothpaste, so I don’t brush my teeth with other white creams.

9. To apply mascara, I find several adjacent eyelashes.

10. I can amuse a child by making dot-to-dot pictures with my age spots.